A Starbucks Trip that Opened My Eyes

     Right now, as I type, I am sitting in our local Starbucks. (You're shocked, I know). I just finished class and still have an hour until I need to pick up the kids. This is my "me" time. I usually grab a non-fat latte and my favorite chocolate flourless cookie. Then I sit....and surreptitiously people-watch.

     Last week I had the pleasure of sitting next to a man I dubbed "Mr. Farter". He was larger, quite sweaty, balding, and made lots of grunting noises as he drank and read the paper. Based on is nickname, I probably don't have to tell you that he would get up every few minutes to "stretch". That's when the smell would envelop all of us in the area. It wasn't pleasant. You can imagine my panic when he stopped me on my way out and asked "what business" I was in. Oh joy.

     Today is a little different. There are still a few characters here, but one in particular has tugged at my heartstrings. He is obviously homeless and looking for a warm space. Someone bought him a coffee and several others have said hello to him as they exited. I guess he's a regular, just one I haven't come across in my visits here. It really is cold out today and I find myself wondering where he will go after Starbucks closes at 10. I hope the staff allows him to stay as long as he wants. As someone who comes here every day, I know that they are good people. I know they'll let him sit and stare off into space for as long as they are open.

     But then what? Where does this guy go at 10pm?

     At 10pm, I plan on being cuddled up on the couch watching my DVR. I'll have already made dinner, given the kids baths, and helped them with their homework. I'll probably be drinking a bottle of red wine and nibbling on Godiva dark chocolate. I'll have on my super-comfy pajamas while I sit in front of the fireplace.

    But where will this guy be?

    It's easy to start taking things for granted. Life has been "tough" for our family recently. I haven't had a paycheck since January 8. The hubby has been carrying the entire household for over a month and that has caused stress on our finances and our relationship. However, I put "tough" in quotes because, in all honesty, life could be so much worse. Our bills got paid, we have a roof over our heads, there's always gas in the cars, we're not starving, and I still have had my daily Starbucks. Could we go out for expensive dinner dates in Philly? No. But, so what? Could I buy that Kate Spade purse I've been salivating over? Nope. But I will be able to at some point. There's a light at the end of our tunnel.

    What happens when there is no light? When the tunnel is seemingly endless?

    I feel somewhat guilty sitting here, texting on my iPhone 6 Plus, typing on a laptop, drinking coffee, and dressed in nice clothes (and jewelry...don't forget the jewelry. Chloe + Isabel. Already had one compliment on my bracelet). There is a man 6 feet away from me who apparently has a lot less than I do. How humbling must it be to have someone buy you a cup of coffee because you can't afford it? Obviously I don't know his circumstances and I am making assumptions, but I think it's safe to say that I am lucky. And yes, I've seen homeless people before. This time it really hit me.

    When I wake up in the morning, I wake up in a bed. In a warm house. With my family next to me (yes, the kids are in bed with us when we wake up). I make breakfast and start my Keurig. I take my kids to school in one of two cars I own.

    And yet I still complain.

    It's time to stop looking at what I don't have and to start focusing on all that I do have. It's time to stop being a spoiled brat and to start sharing with others more. Perhaps my path crossed with this man so I could have that wake-up call. Who cares that I dropped an entire bottle of shampoo on my foot this morning? So what if my husband's incessant talking drives me crazy?

    Those are good problems to have....

 

 




 

Chloe + Isabel

I couldn't resist. I love jewelry. Sadly, I rarely buy anything for myself because I feel too guilty.

Then I started seeing ads on Facebook for a company called Chloe + Isabel. I was intrigued. Funny enough, it was the logo that attracted me in the beginning. It was classic, modern, and fun. (Marketing peeps: logos matter. Just an FYI.)

Honestly, I had already almost invested in the more popular brand of Stella & Dot. But when I went to look at their inventory, I wasn't madly in love with a lot of the pieces. I also felt that the company focused more on recruiting "stylists" than selling their jewelry. I wasn't that interested in becoming part of building the "sorority".  

Chloe + Isabel was different. I absolutely LOVED so much of their stuff. I also liked that they have a lifetime guarantee AND a 30-day money back guarantee. They are young -- only about 4 years old -- but I liked that as well. It's exciting to be a part of something fresh. And Ashton Kutcher is an investor....how can you beat that???

I caved and signed up. A week later (and $182 poorer), I received my box of business materials and samples. I was so excited to open it....seriously, better than Christmas. It seemed like there was just package after glorious package. Being a catalog whore, I almost loved the lookbook more than the jewelry. It was just so....pretty.

I am usually super-picky when it comes to my personal style. From clothes to jewelry to shoes to make-up, I can be annoyingly peculiar. Therefore, I wasn't expecting to like 90% of what I received. Guess what? I loved 99% of what came in that big box! (There was some weird rope bracelet thing that I don't even know how to put on.....).

Needless to say, I am totally chloe + isabel obsessed. The earrings I am wearing today have weight to them, making them feel much more expensive than they are. And today's bracelet? Stunning.

Let me know if you want me to host a fun pop-up shop at your home or office. It's about more than just jewelry! If you would rather just check out our items, shop my boutique: https://www.chloeandisabel.com/boutique/kelleycole?time=2

Join the chloe + isabel obsession!

The ABCs of My Life

A: Attached or single?  Attached.
B: Best friend?  The hubby
C: Cake or pie?  Cake, preferably chocolate with peanut butter frosting
D: Day of choice? Depends on what I am doing, though I do love Sundays
E: Essential item? My phone, sadly.
F: Favorite color?  Blue.
G: Gummy bears or worms?  Worms ;)
H: Hometown?  The Dirty D
I: Favorite indulgence? Going to the beach alone
J: January or July?  July
K: Kids?  Two. 
L: Life isn’t complete without?  My family.
M: Marriage date? February 24, 2007
N: Number of siblings? One younger brother
O: Oranges or apples?  Oranges.
P: Phobias? Toads. YUCK.
Q: Quotes? Love them. Live by, "Everything happens for a reason."
R: Reasons to smile? My kids make me smile every day.
S: Season of choice? Fall.
T: Tag 5 people. I am pleading the 5th on this one.
U: Unknown fact about me. I never eat the last bite of anything.
V: Vegetable? Squash
W: Worst habit? Cracking my toes 
X: x-ray or ultrasound? I would say ultrasound, hubby would prefer me to have an x-ray. ;)
Y: Your favorite food? Depends on the day and the mood...but Godiva Dark Chocolate and Vanilla truffles would pretty much work any day.
Z: Zodiac sign? Scorpio (not surprising, huh?)

Feeling and Dealing with The Sting

It's summertime and we are loving the sunshine, the ocean, and the carefree days. But sadly, you can still get stung in the summertime...and not by a bee.

I got a job rejection letter today -- one I was NOT expecting. For some reason, I was feeling pretty good about my chances. I had made it through the 1st round (Q&A session with the nominating committee, followed up by teaching a lesson) and was called in to meet the Dean of Instruction for my second round. It was great. He and I are approximately the same age, had a lot in common, he said he liked my answers, thought I was a really good candidate...and then today I got the "thanks, but no thanks" letter.

I was floored. I mean, this job was to run the local community college's Writing Center and teach writing classes. The school is 2 minutes down the road from my house. I already adjunct there twice a week, and have for the past 3 years. Seriously, I couldn't have created a more perfect job if I had done it myself.

Obviously I didn't fit the mold. I read that rejection letter and just started crying. We were on our way to (surprise, surprise) Starbucks...and I could not stop the tears. They continued as I ordered my vanilla chai, as I waited for my drink, and all the way home. The anger was boiling up inside....then the depression set in. I could sense that familiar feeling of self-hatred making its way back into my heart.

You're such an idiot. How can you not get a job at a community college teaching YOUR subject? What is wrong with you? Look at some of these people who teach there full-time and YOU can't get a job there? What a loser. Face it, you are not destined to do more than what you do. Why do you think you can ever move "up"? Stupid. That rejection is a personal one. He didn't like you, didn't think you could do the job. Time to hang up the ambitions of moving on and just be happy with the hand you've been dealt.

This is the third time this year I have put myself out there and been turned down. A few months ago I applied for a teaching position at the same community college. Rejected. But the most painful one was back in November at my current high school. They needed a new department chair. Being reasonably seasoned, mature, responsible, smart, friendly, I thought I was a shoo-in. Little did I know that the principal had already asked the 28-year-old cheerleading coach if she would do it. They weren't expecting me to apply. Therefore, we had to go through the motions of an interview process...only for me to find out later that they were just placating me. The cheerleaders knew their coach was getting the position before I even interviewed. I was embarrassed, ashamed, and angry.

How many times do we have to get slapped in the face before we finally turn and walk away? How do we not take it personally?

Top 5 List - Summer Mode (aka My Favorite Places)

5. Bailey's Island, ME - This is always one of our "must go" stops each year. Back when my grandfather was alive, he would take the entire family (his 3 daughters, their husbands and kids) up to Cook's Lobster House for my mom and aunt's birthday dinner (they were born on the same day, 16 years apart). Before dinner, we would all head to Bailey's Island to walk the rocks and shop at the kitschy Land's End store. My grandfather loved this statue of the lobsterman. This is the one place where I get very emotional thinking about him.

4. Cape Henlopen Beach, DE - We are very lucky to live an hour from the Delaware beaches. Dewey, Rehoboth, Bethany, Fenwick Island, Lewes....all have their own unique characteristics. All are extremely popular. But my favorite is Cape Henlopen. Tucked away from everything else, it is a state park that doesn't host too many from New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and New York. I love going early, digging my toes in, and watching the surf.

3. Naples, ME - This town has been our family's summer vacation since before I was born. My grandparents honeymooned there in the 1930s. They continued to bring their children up every August, a tradition that I now share with my own family. It is a place that connects me to my grandmother and grandfather, two people I miss greatly.

2. The National Cathedral - I love cathedrals and old churches, but this one takes the cake. It is in my favorite city, is majestic, and has all sorts of cool nooks and crannies. I was in middle school when I read Margaret Truman's "Murder at the National Cathedral", thus starting my love for the gargoyle-covered edifice. Going to a Christmas Eve service there is on my Bucket List...since my royal wedding didn't happen there. *sigh*

1. Cape Elizabeth, ME - I could sit here for hours, watching the waves crash on the rocks. There are plenty of spaces to sit quietly and think. Not that I have ever been able to do that since I am always with two active kids and a gets-bored-quickly husband. But you know, if I could...

Could I Feel Any More Inadequate as a Mom???

I was perusing some FB pages of some "friends" I don't see often. Imagine my dismay when I saw these lunchbox pictures:

I mean, I admire her but HOLY HELL. Every day? How do you have the time and patience to be so freaking creative????

I am a horrible mom.

Living on Starbucks as a Single Working Mom (for 9 days)

I've been out of touch with everyone and everything for the past week. The hubby was in Kansas City for 9 days, leaving me with the kids and the house and the laundy and the dishes and the cat and two jobs. I kept repeating the mantra "Just keep swimming."

My legs are so tired from treading water.

How do single working moms do it? Seriously? Perhaps I am the laziest person on the planet, but I found it nearly impossible to juggle everything. I definitely had no energy and lots of things took a backseat. I only washed the laundry we needed. I used paper plates and plastic utensils. The inside of the house looked like it had been hit by a tornado. I had to buy our neighbor a 12-pack of Bud Light to get him to cut the grass so it didn't look like our house had been foreclosed on.

And the kids? The poor things were shuttled from one person or place to the next all week. Daycare at 6:30, picked up from daycare at 3:30, driven to Grandmom's at 4, picked up from Grandmom's at 8:30, in bed by 9:30. Rinse and repeat. I felt like the only times I saw them was when we were getting dressed in the morning or undressed in the evenings. And 90% of that "quality" time was spent with me screaming. Because. I. Was. So. Freaking. Exhausted.

Conclusion? I would be a terrible single working mom.

There are many women (and men) out there who do a helluva lot better job at raising kids on their own than I would. And I give them all of the credit in the world.